For the longest time I'd wanted to go by a locally owned secondhand store down on McCullough Ave called Texas Trash. I became "friends" with them on Facebook, and knew they were a small retail store and I needed to satisfy a curiosity. So before Halloween I finally got that chance.
I needed to find a pair of boots. I needed boots that I knew I would probably only use once, so I figured I'd try thrift store shopping, and to no avail. Who knew it was that difficult to find used and abused boots? One of my final stops was Texas Trash. I really hate to talk trash, but the name kinda said it all. I loved the idea, but once I walked through their front door, it was pure madness.
I specifically remember walking in and passing a large pile of clothing on the floor by the front door. As I walked further in, I realized how small the place actually was, so it was a little easier to see why it might have been a little chaotic in there. There was no separation as far as men's and women's apparel, which also made it difficult to find anything. The store however has been open for some time, so they have to be doing something right. I do have to say, they had some interesting items, but more so for women. There was really nothing that screamed at me (well except maybe for Alex telling me we needed to get the hell out of there).
If you like trendy little thrift shops, then another little locally owned secondhand store that's worth checking out is Mustang Exchange on San Pedro Ave, across from Night Rocker Live. I totally discovered this little gem by accident. Now before you tell me many of my stories start with "There was this one time I was drinking..." I have to tell you, this is one of those stories.
So there was this one time I was drinking with Alex and Joe. We were enjoying happy hour at 2015 Place when we suddenly got this crazy urge to walk down to Annex, which if you're familiar with this area in San Antonio, you'll realize the two bars are not just a few blocks from each other, but rather about a mile apart. Anyway, we get this urge to walk down to Annex, and along the way discover a woman outside a resale shop, so we decided to check it out.
The woman who had been outside turned out to be the shop owner. She was very welcoming and told us a little bit about her store. The store was pretty well lit, and very organized and there was plenty of walking space. She even had dressing rooms! Of course I found a cool pair of jeans which I had to buy, even though Alex and Joe both tried to talk me out of it being that we were on foot and heading to another bar. But that's another story I'll have to tell you about.
Now there is another store on Olmos Dr called Buffalo Exchange and let's not forget about Plato's closet inside of Park North. But I wanted to point out Texas Trash and Mustang Exchange because they're in the neighborhood. So if you like checking out thrift stores, give these two your business and let me know what you think.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
It's just gossip, isn't it?
It takes one person to start a rumor, and one more to make it official gossip. Believe me, I'm always up for good gossip, but its always a little different when it's about you. Funny little story I heard from Alex when I came home on Saturday. It all started with a strange dream on Friday, and apparently ended up with Alex leaving me and moving out by Saturday. Or at least that's what this gossip would have had you believe. Let's start from the beginning, shall we?
Friday I woke up and told Alex, in detail, the weird dream I had. In my dream, I had come home one evening to witness Alex packing up his belongings. To state the obvious, I asked what was going on, and he replied that he had to move. When I asked him why, he elaborated, telling me that his parents were moving and that he had to go with them. I still didn't understand, but what did it matter? It was a dream. Next thing I knew, I was moving into this tiny ass apartment because of all the credit card debt I had acquired along the years, and I was opening an IRA with a measly $35.
Alex and I had a good little laugh afterward. The next day, he comes home from work and tells me that according to the latest gossip, we had already split up and that he had moved out. This stemming from a conversation with someone at work regarding my dream. He was sharing my dream with someone when a third party overheard. Next thing he knew, everyone was questioning what had happened with us. When Alex told me about it, I thought I'd add a little fuel to the fire and make it a bit more interesting.
Afterall, it's just gossip until you hear it from the actual source. I decided to go on Facebook later that evening and post only what I had heard from Alex. My update read:
"Today's hot gossip: Alex is packing up and leaving! Well good luck with that, buddy! I just heard it now! Ugh, I've been needing a drink since 2am."
I figured that would be enough to let everyone else jump to their own conclusions. And wow, did the texts and Facebook messages start blowing up our phones. People concerned, people wanting confirmation, people wanting to be nosy. It was fun, but I had to respond to everyone of course (well almost everyone) and explain what was going on.
What should you learn form this? Social media really works! People are paying attention. It can be your friend, but it can also be your enemy. Use it wisely. And if you have any savory gossip, please let me in on it. I'm always one to talk. (wink, wink)
Friday I woke up and told Alex, in detail, the weird dream I had. In my dream, I had come home one evening to witness Alex packing up his belongings. To state the obvious, I asked what was going on, and he replied that he had to move. When I asked him why, he elaborated, telling me that his parents were moving and that he had to go with them. I still didn't understand, but what did it matter? It was a dream. Next thing I knew, I was moving into this tiny ass apartment because of all the credit card debt I had acquired along the years, and I was opening an IRA with a measly $35.
Alex and I had a good little laugh afterward. The next day, he comes home from work and tells me that according to the latest gossip, we had already split up and that he had moved out. This stemming from a conversation with someone at work regarding my dream. He was sharing my dream with someone when a third party overheard. Next thing he knew, everyone was questioning what had happened with us. When Alex told me about it, I thought I'd add a little fuel to the fire and make it a bit more interesting.
Afterall, it's just gossip until you hear it from the actual source. I decided to go on Facebook later that evening and post only what I had heard from Alex. My update read:
"Today's hot gossip: Alex is packing up and leaving! Well good luck with that, buddy! I just heard it now! Ugh, I've been needing a drink since 2am."
I figured that would be enough to let everyone else jump to their own conclusions. And wow, did the texts and Facebook messages start blowing up our phones. People concerned, people wanting confirmation, people wanting to be nosy. It was fun, but I had to respond to everyone of course (well almost everyone) and explain what was going on.
What should you learn form this? Social media really works! People are paying attention. It can be your friend, but it can also be your enemy. Use it wisely. And if you have any savory gossip, please let me in on it. I'm always one to talk. (wink, wink)
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Better Prices, Bigger Diva Moments, Less Catty Attitudes
Need I say more? Why go to any other bar for awesome drinks, fabulous style, and larger than life moments. Granted, the interior of the Pegasus can appear more seedy than couture, the bartenders will treat you like royalty and other patrons will treat you like friends.
I've often been asked by my heterosexual friends what makes Pegasus so great (considering I'm practically a staple there). My answer is simple and sweet: I love my bartenders. I can stay away a couple of weeks and they will still remember my drink when I return. I've been to a few of the more posh clubs/bars out in the Stone Oak area and along 1604, and I always spend 3x more, and the bartenders tend to be a little more reticent with their alcohol pouring. But that's not to say that it could be the fact that I'm not a regular at those establishments.
At Pegasus, the alcohol pours freely. And the fact that the drinks are very inexpensive allows us to take better care of our bartenders. And as one of my friends might find this somewhat amusing, it's true what their web site says: "Every one is welcome!" There is no discrimination when it comes to "straight" patrons. I've seen plenty of bachelorette parties go through there. You get more gay male patrons at this bar than you do lesbians, which is perfectly okay with me considering lesbians seem to have a little more testosterone than my gay male friends. So I can understand men feeling a little uneasy, but I can assure all you straight guys out there that if the crowd knows you're hetero, they're more likely to jokingly flirt with you, so don't take any offense.
I typically go the the same three bartenders, but feel free to go to any of the staff, because they're all just as great. Pegasus is really about 5 bars in 1. There's the main video bar which you find when you first walk into the building. You'll usually find Sammy, Junior, and Mark behind the bar. And with the crowd they get in that bar alone, you'd be surprised how fast this trio hustles! They don't miss a beat. I've had some pretty large diverse orders, and they can knock it out like nobody's business.
The Flying Horse is to the right as you walk in through the main bar. It's the country western section of the establishment, or at least it used to be. Now everyone goes in there just to get away from the crowd of the main bar. Oh, but don't worry about not getting great service. Jason will totally take care of you in here. His good looks and charm will have you craving more...drinks, craving more drinks. He's one of the sweetest things about Pegasus, and definitely a guilty pleasure.
The bar in back is known as The Night Hawk because it used to be a leather bar. But contrary to what each bar is called (except the Karaoke bar), none of them live up to their cliches anymore. On most crowded weekends, you'll find Chad and Valerie. Chad claims he doesn't understand how I can handle his drinks all night. He's right, they're very potent, but the kick you get from just your first two drinks with him can set the mood for the rest of the night, and that mood is: AWESOME!!!
Simon takes care of those thirsty mouths in the karaoke bar or out in the front patio on any given Sunday. Be sure to ask him for his paleta shot when you visit his bar. Chad has a signature shot known as the "Chuleta." It's a spicy mouthful of joy that goes down smooth, but with no harsh aftertaste. Simon has his own spin on it, but he calls it his "paleta shot." Simon's drink has a mexican sucker that he drops into hit, and it totally hits the spot every time. I have to admit, I'm not a fan of ethnic candy, but the first time I had this shot, I was thrown back. It was like a Mexican parade in my mouth.
So if you've never been to Pegasus, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! I guarantee you'll have a good time. But I guarantee you'll have a better time if you go with me. I'm just saying. Tell your bartenders, TheGossipGuy sent you. :)
I've often been asked by my heterosexual friends what makes Pegasus so great (considering I'm practically a staple there). My answer is simple and sweet: I love my bartenders. I can stay away a couple of weeks and they will still remember my drink when I return. I've been to a few of the more posh clubs/bars out in the Stone Oak area and along 1604, and I always spend 3x more, and the bartenders tend to be a little more reticent with their alcohol pouring. But that's not to say that it could be the fact that I'm not a regular at those establishments.
At Pegasus, the alcohol pours freely. And the fact that the drinks are very inexpensive allows us to take better care of our bartenders. And as one of my friends might find this somewhat amusing, it's true what their web site says: "Every one is welcome!" There is no discrimination when it comes to "straight" patrons. I've seen plenty of bachelorette parties go through there. You get more gay male patrons at this bar than you do lesbians, which is perfectly okay with me considering lesbians seem to have a little more testosterone than my gay male friends. So I can understand men feeling a little uneasy, but I can assure all you straight guys out there that if the crowd knows you're hetero, they're more likely to jokingly flirt with you, so don't take any offense.
I typically go the the same three bartenders, but feel free to go to any of the staff, because they're all just as great. Pegasus is really about 5 bars in 1. There's the main video bar which you find when you first walk into the building. You'll usually find Sammy, Junior, and Mark behind the bar. And with the crowd they get in that bar alone, you'd be surprised how fast this trio hustles! They don't miss a beat. I've had some pretty large diverse orders, and they can knock it out like nobody's business.
The Flying Horse is to the right as you walk in through the main bar. It's the country western section of the establishment, or at least it used to be. Now everyone goes in there just to get away from the crowd of the main bar. Oh, but don't worry about not getting great service. Jason will totally take care of you in here. His good looks and charm will have you craving more...drinks, craving more drinks. He's one of the sweetest things about Pegasus, and definitely a guilty pleasure.
The bar in back is known as The Night Hawk because it used to be a leather bar. But contrary to what each bar is called (except the Karaoke bar), none of them live up to their cliches anymore. On most crowded weekends, you'll find Chad and Valerie. Chad claims he doesn't understand how I can handle his drinks all night. He's right, they're very potent, but the kick you get from just your first two drinks with him can set the mood for the rest of the night, and that mood is: AWESOME!!!
Simon takes care of those thirsty mouths in the karaoke bar or out in the front patio on any given Sunday. Be sure to ask him for his paleta shot when you visit his bar. Chad has a signature shot known as the "Chuleta." It's a spicy mouthful of joy that goes down smooth, but with no harsh aftertaste. Simon has his own spin on it, but he calls it his "paleta shot." Simon's drink has a mexican sucker that he drops into hit, and it totally hits the spot every time. I have to admit, I'm not a fan of ethnic candy, but the first time I had this shot, I was thrown back. It was like a Mexican parade in my mouth.
So if you've never been to Pegasus, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! I guarantee you'll have a good time. But I guarantee you'll have a better time if you go with me. I'm just saying. Tell your bartenders, TheGossipGuy sent you. :)
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Gay hot spots in the French Quarter
There are many sites you can go to and find reviews of local restaurants, hotels, clubs, etc. But if you're anything like me, you prefer that someone just tell you straight-up without having to search these places. On our most recent visit to the Big Easy for this year's Southern Decadence, I realized I needed to be the voice for some of those inquisitive minds.
If you're a regular in the New Orleans French Quarter, then you know that Oz (corner of Bourbon and St Ann) is the dance club to go when you just wanna let go and be free. The dance floor is fabulous with its state-of-the-art lighting and all-around party ambience. Be prepared to hand over a few bills for cover during special events such as Decadence, Mardi Gras, New Year's Eve, etc. And of course all the best looking guys are here, so if you have to wait in line a while, let this be an incentive for you.
If you're more about chilling with friends and just taking in everything around you, then step across the street to Bourbon Pub/Parade. The downstairs bar is a lush little video haven, with go-go boys galore dancing atop the bars, and some of the hottest music playing on the screens. The bartenders are friendly, but it can get crowded, so be patient and understanding. Parade can be found upstairs. It's a swank little dance floor with high-energy music blasting through your core. There's a lounge area to just sit back and chill, and a wrap-around balcony to enjoy your drinks and just look out at the madness passing by.
Just around the corner and down the street (St Ann and Dauphine) you'll find Good Friends Bar. Then name says it all! Good people, great music, hot dancers, and sexy people all around is what this friendly spot has to offer. And just like any of the other bars, drink prices are very reasonable. Here's a tip: If you're there on the weekend, go upstairs to the corner section of the bar closest to the men's restroom. It's the part where the bartenders get in and out. It's the easiest spot to get a drink, and the bartender's not too bad to look at either. ;)
Just a few short blocks away at 700 Burgundy, you'll find 700 Club. It's a relaxing bar with plenty of seating and lots of bar space. I personally think that Club 700 is where you want to unwind at the end of your French Quarter bar tour for the night. Have a nightcap and unwind to some fun music and good conversation with friendly folk.
If you walk up about 4 blocks toward downtown you'll find Corner Pocket at Burgundy and St. Louis. If you're into hot young guys dancing and flaunting their packages in your face, then you'll definitely want to stop by. Bad boys, bad boys! It's a small venue, but there are usually 5 guys up on the bar at once dancing and making their rounds so that you can see all their glory and stuff a bill or two down their jocks. Here's a tip though. Ashlee the bartender is a sweetheart and an awesome server! Ahslee is always on it. The one to watch out for is Bruce. When it gets busy, his fingers get sticky. If he thinks you're drunk, he'll take any opportunity to short-change you. I've been a victim of his twice now, this year at Decadence, and last year for New Year's eve. My advice, if Bruce is your only option, then make sure you carry plenty of small bills for a tip and use fives when buying your drinks. This makes it easier for you to keep track of what you're giving and getting back. where as if you hand him a twenty, he'll try to pass it off as a ten. The old bastard will get you. Either way, the guys are hot and DJ Lisa is fun.
If you're the kind of person who likes to grab a bite before calling it a night, then you'll want to end your evening at Cafe Lafitte in Exile. Upstairs is fun for the gentlemen, while the lower level is fun for everyone. If you like watching the dancers while gettin' your drink on, then take a seat upstairs and hold on to your hats! No girls allowed. :) The best part about ending the night here, for all you late night munchers, is Clover Grill right across the street. The world famous cafe makes your food while you wait. If you sit at the front counter, you can actually watch them make it. Not a big selection, nor a big dining area, but the staff is fun and friendly and it's an experience you'll want to tell all your friends about after.
A few other bars I haven't mentioned, and probably best that you experience for yourself are Rawhide (for all the leather bears out there) and Golden Lantern. Keep in mind that all these bars are in the French Quarter, so everything is within walking distance. If you're like me, and you've seen most of the sights in NOLA, and your real intentions are to party it up, then you'll want to make sure you get your hotel in the French Quarter or downtown so that you can easily walk back to your room after a long night of binge drinking. I've learned from experience, cabs will not pick you up if you're puking while they stop in front of you. LOL!
If you're a regular in the New Orleans French Quarter, then you know that Oz (corner of Bourbon and St Ann) is the dance club to go when you just wanna let go and be free. The dance floor is fabulous with its state-of-the-art lighting and all-around party ambience. Be prepared to hand over a few bills for cover during special events such as Decadence, Mardi Gras, New Year's Eve, etc. And of course all the best looking guys are here, so if you have to wait in line a while, let this be an incentive for you.
If you're more about chilling with friends and just taking in everything around you, then step across the street to Bourbon Pub/Parade. The downstairs bar is a lush little video haven, with go-go boys galore dancing atop the bars, and some of the hottest music playing on the screens. The bartenders are friendly, but it can get crowded, so be patient and understanding. Parade can be found upstairs. It's a swank little dance floor with high-energy music blasting through your core. There's a lounge area to just sit back and chill, and a wrap-around balcony to enjoy your drinks and just look out at the madness passing by.
Just around the corner and down the street (St Ann and Dauphine) you'll find Good Friends Bar. Then name says it all! Good people, great music, hot dancers, and sexy people all around is what this friendly spot has to offer. And just like any of the other bars, drink prices are very reasonable. Here's a tip: If you're there on the weekend, go upstairs to the corner section of the bar closest to the men's restroom. It's the part where the bartenders get in and out. It's the easiest spot to get a drink, and the bartender's not too bad to look at either. ;)
Just a few short blocks away at 700 Burgundy, you'll find 700 Club. It's a relaxing bar with plenty of seating and lots of bar space. I personally think that Club 700 is where you want to unwind at the end of your French Quarter bar tour for the night. Have a nightcap and unwind to some fun music and good conversation with friendly folk.
If you walk up about 4 blocks toward downtown you'll find Corner Pocket at Burgundy and St. Louis. If you're into hot young guys dancing and flaunting their packages in your face, then you'll definitely want to stop by. Bad boys, bad boys! It's a small venue, but there are usually 5 guys up on the bar at once dancing and making their rounds so that you can see all their glory and stuff a bill or two down their jocks. Here's a tip though. Ashlee the bartender is a sweetheart and an awesome server! Ahslee is always on it. The one to watch out for is Bruce. When it gets busy, his fingers get sticky. If he thinks you're drunk, he'll take any opportunity to short-change you. I've been a victim of his twice now, this year at Decadence, and last year for New Year's eve. My advice, if Bruce is your only option, then make sure you carry plenty of small bills for a tip and use fives when buying your drinks. This makes it easier for you to keep track of what you're giving and getting back. where as if you hand him a twenty, he'll try to pass it off as a ten. The old bastard will get you. Either way, the guys are hot and DJ Lisa is fun.
If you're the kind of person who likes to grab a bite before calling it a night, then you'll want to end your evening at Cafe Lafitte in Exile. Upstairs is fun for the gentlemen, while the lower level is fun for everyone. If you like watching the dancers while gettin' your drink on, then take a seat upstairs and hold on to your hats! No girls allowed. :) The best part about ending the night here, for all you late night munchers, is Clover Grill right across the street. The world famous cafe makes your food while you wait. If you sit at the front counter, you can actually watch them make it. Not a big selection, nor a big dining area, but the staff is fun and friendly and it's an experience you'll want to tell all your friends about after.
A few other bars I haven't mentioned, and probably best that you experience for yourself are Rawhide (for all the leather bears out there) and Golden Lantern. Keep in mind that all these bars are in the French Quarter, so everything is within walking distance. If you're like me, and you've seen most of the sights in NOLA, and your real intentions are to party it up, then you'll want to make sure you get your hotel in the French Quarter or downtown so that you can easily walk back to your room after a long night of binge drinking. I've learned from experience, cabs will not pick you up if you're puking while they stop in front of you. LOL!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Former KSAT reporter dies at 42.
It struck me a little hard when I heard tonight of the passing of Bert Lozano. I can remember watching him on KSAT when I was younger, and wanting to be where he was. I remember watching a video on YouTube of him reporting in Austin as a streaker ran by, but being the professional he was, he just kept on going. But that was just who he was.
I followed Bert on Facebook from time to time. His posts often made me smile, and when he would reply to my posts, it just made me giddy! So it really saddens me to know that I won't see any of those Facebook updates from him. I recently went back to his page and read some of the posts before his passing. He had recently changed his status from "single" to "in a relationship." As I scrolled down farther, I noticed a post which read, "I've never had someone make me dinner." I teared up when I read that. It was so sweet. And to think that he would be gone just a few days later.
Most recently, Lozano was vice president of Weber Shandwick, a public relations company in Dallas. Prior to that he had worked in the broadcast industry including WFAA-TV Channel 8 in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, KSAT-12 News in San Antonio, and KRGV-TV in the Rio Grande Valley.
Lozano had suffered a heart attack on Sunday, August 28, and was admitted to Methodist Medical Center in Dallas where he was in critical condition and later died. He will be missed by all that knew him. Rest in peace, Bert.
I followed Bert on Facebook from time to time. His posts often made me smile, and when he would reply to my posts, it just made me giddy! So it really saddens me to know that I won't see any of those Facebook updates from him. I recently went back to his page and read some of the posts before his passing. He had recently changed his status from "single" to "in a relationship." As I scrolled down farther, I noticed a post which read, "I've never had someone make me dinner." I teared up when I read that. It was so sweet. And to think that he would be gone just a few days later.
Most recently, Lozano was vice president of Weber Shandwick, a public relations company in Dallas. Prior to that he had worked in the broadcast industry including WFAA-TV Channel 8 in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, KSAT-12 News in San Antonio, and KRGV-TV in the Rio Grande Valley.
Lozano had suffered a heart attack on Sunday, August 28, and was admitted to Methodist Medical Center in Dallas where he was in critical condition and later died. He will be missed by all that knew him. Rest in peace, Bert.
To exploit or not to exploit, that is the question.
I was recently bored, as I tend to get on some occasions when I'm just sitting around with ideas spinning in my head and I have nothing else to entertain me. Something hit me. I was thinking about porn magazine names and taglines to go with them. I wanted something that was very "Texas" or at least local. I guess the reason for this was the idea that I would be going to Southern Decadence (from here on out referred to as SD) for Labor Day weekend.
For those of you who aren't familiar with this tradition, it's basically the equivalent to Mardi Gras for the gay population. Men (and very few women) hit Bourbon Street and some surrounding streets at the French Quarter in New Orleans, following a tradition of a few men who one day decided to create their own little parade back in 1972. Since then it has only grown bigger and better. Oh gosh, now I feel as if I have to go back just a bit to the beginning of the gay revolution (obviously not really a revolution).
Many "haters" (those who are gay and refuse to accept any events that display such appreciation) will claim that events such as SD or even gay pride parades, do nothing but disparage the gay community. Sadly, I must admit that I used to be one of those haters. I used to think: "how can these people go around and flaunt themselves in such a fashion as to make themselves targets of hate." Funny thing is, I grew up. I met someone whom I've been in a relationship for the last nine and a half years almost who has helped me see that it's ok to be who you are. It's ok to be gay, and to have fun, and to let go every once in a while.
I've become so comfortable now with who I am, and where I stand in society. Gay society has come far since 1972 (When SD started, not my birth year, fool). I think those people who refuse to see that just aren't happy with who they are. Maybe it's not the case, but it's definitely my opinion, and it's definitely how I feel.
Wow, I totally got off the subject, but I needed to sidetrack to get you to the point of entry of this blog. So I started thinking of names for gay magazines and it suddenly came (no pun intended). "Texas Meat Market Magazine" was born! Well at least in my head it was. But I needed a catchy tagline to go with it. I waited a few minutes, and then "only the finest cuts...and uncuts" came to life. It's gay lingo, just incase some of you don't get it right away. I'm not going to explain, so you'll either have to send me a message or ask your gay friend at work about it. You know, the token gay coworker. Often that's me. I don't mind though, it gives people reason to be inquisitive.
I would love to have the means to create this magazine where men would be photographed, and not necessarily nude (although I'm totally not opposed to that). I would travel to different cities and focus on guys out and about. I would like to capture guys in natural "night life" settings. LOL! We all know that gay men love to party. So it's the parties I would hit up and find men having a good time.
I created a new page on Facebook with the title of the magazine, and thus far have only had 10 people "like" it. As soon as I hit New Orleans this weekend, I plan to round up my first bunch of volunteers, guys that will allow me to photograph them and place on my page. Of course I won't post anything graphic as it wouldn't be allowed on Facebook. But if anyone volunteers to do such a thing, then I'd have to create some other page to post those, with their permission, of course.
If anyone has any ideas or would like to collaborate with me on this experiment, please get back with me and let me know what you have in mind. Let's get "Texas Meat Market Magazine" off the ground and into peoples homes! ;)
For those of you who aren't familiar with this tradition, it's basically the equivalent to Mardi Gras for the gay population. Men (and very few women) hit Bourbon Street and some surrounding streets at the French Quarter in New Orleans, following a tradition of a few men who one day decided to create their own little parade back in 1972. Since then it has only grown bigger and better. Oh gosh, now I feel as if I have to go back just a bit to the beginning of the gay revolution (obviously not really a revolution).
Many "haters" (those who are gay and refuse to accept any events that display such appreciation) will claim that events such as SD or even gay pride parades, do nothing but disparage the gay community. Sadly, I must admit that I used to be one of those haters. I used to think: "how can these people go around and flaunt themselves in such a fashion as to make themselves targets of hate." Funny thing is, I grew up. I met someone whom I've been in a relationship for the last nine and a half years almost who has helped me see that it's ok to be who you are. It's ok to be gay, and to have fun, and to let go every once in a while.
I've become so comfortable now with who I am, and where I stand in society. Gay society has come far since 1972 (When SD started, not my birth year, fool). I think those people who refuse to see that just aren't happy with who they are. Maybe it's not the case, but it's definitely my opinion, and it's definitely how I feel.
Wow, I totally got off the subject, but I needed to sidetrack to get you to the point of entry of this blog. So I started thinking of names for gay magazines and it suddenly came (no pun intended). "Texas Meat Market Magazine" was born! Well at least in my head it was. But I needed a catchy tagline to go with it. I waited a few minutes, and then "only the finest cuts...and uncuts" came to life. It's gay lingo, just incase some of you don't get it right away. I'm not going to explain, so you'll either have to send me a message or ask your gay friend at work about it. You know, the token gay coworker. Often that's me. I don't mind though, it gives people reason to be inquisitive.
I would love to have the means to create this magazine where men would be photographed, and not necessarily nude (although I'm totally not opposed to that). I would travel to different cities and focus on guys out and about. I would like to capture guys in natural "night life" settings. LOL! We all know that gay men love to party. So it's the parties I would hit up and find men having a good time.
I created a new page on Facebook with the title of the magazine, and thus far have only had 10 people "like" it. As soon as I hit New Orleans this weekend, I plan to round up my first bunch of volunteers, guys that will allow me to photograph them and place on my page. Of course I won't post anything graphic as it wouldn't be allowed on Facebook. But if anyone volunteers to do such a thing, then I'd have to create some other page to post those, with their permission, of course.
If anyone has any ideas or would like to collaborate with me on this experiment, please get back with me and let me know what you have in mind. Let's get "Texas Meat Market Magazine" off the ground and into peoples homes! ;)
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
It just takes one
Have you ever been in a predicament where one of your friends just totally changes your outlook on things. It really does just take one person to make you question people and their intentions. Not that I'm not a happy-go-lucky guy anymore. Believe me, when I'm out, I'M OUT! And it's all about me. Well okay, I'm kidding...half kidding. Well it happened to me once. Someone screwed me over, then all of a sudden I was feeling like people were whispering and giving me those "there he is" looks.
I only thought about this today when a friend of mine, not only on Facebook, but a dear friend of mine in real time, posted something about being tired of people talking behind their back. I gave this friend the same advice any fun-loving individual would have given. Don't sweat it. When they stop talking about you, that's when you should worry. Whether people are saying something great or something completely blasphemous about your persona, your character, your credibility, you should be happy that they're even taking notice. It means there's something about you that was good enough to peak that person's interest.
I like to think I'm a show-stopper (to quote Christian Siriano: "I'm kind of a big deal in my head), and I like to pretend it's all about me when I'm out, but I do credit my friends and family for allowing me to believe that. :)
So I know that no matter what people think about me, the point is, they're thinking about me! What else should matter. Like my PR agent would say (If I had one), "Any press is good press." Someone get this bitch a drink! I'm here for the party, and I'm here to have a good time, no matter what people want to say. CHEERS!
So just remember, the next time someone is talking about you in the negative, that's just one person. Other people are adoring you for who you are: a friend, a sibling, a role model. Pay no mind that they're being messy, just remember to have fun and that they're talking about you because you somehow matter to them. ;)
I only thought about this today when a friend of mine, not only on Facebook, but a dear friend of mine in real time, posted something about being tired of people talking behind their back. I gave this friend the same advice any fun-loving individual would have given. Don't sweat it. When they stop talking about you, that's when you should worry. Whether people are saying something great or something completely blasphemous about your persona, your character, your credibility, you should be happy that they're even taking notice. It means there's something about you that was good enough to peak that person's interest.
I like to think I'm a show-stopper (to quote Christian Siriano: "I'm kind of a big deal in my head), and I like to pretend it's all about me when I'm out, but I do credit my friends and family for allowing me to believe that. :)
So I know that no matter what people think about me, the point is, they're thinking about me! What else should matter. Like my PR agent would say (If I had one), "Any press is good press." Someone get this bitch a drink! I'm here for the party, and I'm here to have a good time, no matter what people want to say. CHEERS!
So just remember, the next time someone is talking about you in the negative, that's just one person. Other people are adoring you for who you are: a friend, a sibling, a role model. Pay no mind that they're being messy, just remember to have fun and that they're talking about you because you somehow matter to them. ;)
Monday, August 22, 2011
Your life starts everyday when you leave your work place
I've often heard people talk about not taking their work home with them. Yet those people still take their work home with them. I guess I should explain. People can take their work home with them in a couple of different ways. They can physically take it home with them. These are the real workaholics. These are the people who actually take their reports home, or their products home, and find ways of improving them even though they've already gone over them several times at work.
Then there are those who take their work home mentally. They don't see it because they're not bringing home something tangible, but work is totally still lingering at home. These are the people who go home, and unknowingly (at least I hope it's unknowingly) talk about all the dull and annoying occurrences they endured throughout the work day. I'm not going to lie. I've fallen victim to this before. I used to catch myself doing this from time to time, then I realized it was only when I was hanging out with people from work.
So here's the key. If you can't stop talking about work when you're around people from work, it's time for intervention. Either that or stop hanging out with them. Luckily I no longer work with anyone I have anything in common with. It not only makes work better, but it totally boosts my social life.
It's great to have friends with many common interests, but it's also great to have friends with varied interests from your own. It can be fun to have a diverse group of friends. They can bring different ideas and different facets of fun to a conversation.
This doesn't necessarily mean hanging out with coworkers is a no-no. I've worked with people who I adored to death. In fact a couple of my closest friends are people I worked with. What people should remember is that they need to leave work at work. It's once you leave work that your actual life begins. I guess that doesn't hold true for people who eat, drink, and breathe work, but that's a whole other breed of human being. ;)
Then there are those who take their work home mentally. They don't see it because they're not bringing home something tangible, but work is totally still lingering at home. These are the people who go home, and unknowingly (at least I hope it's unknowingly) talk about all the dull and annoying occurrences they endured throughout the work day. I'm not going to lie. I've fallen victim to this before. I used to catch myself doing this from time to time, then I realized it was only when I was hanging out with people from work.
So here's the key. If you can't stop talking about work when you're around people from work, it's time for intervention. Either that or stop hanging out with them. Luckily I no longer work with anyone I have anything in common with. It not only makes work better, but it totally boosts my social life.
It's great to have friends with many common interests, but it's also great to have friends with varied interests from your own. It can be fun to have a diverse group of friends. They can bring different ideas and different facets of fun to a conversation.
This doesn't necessarily mean hanging out with coworkers is a no-no. I've worked with people who I adored to death. In fact a couple of my closest friends are people I worked with. What people should remember is that they need to leave work at work. It's once you leave work that your actual life begins. I guess that doesn't hold true for people who eat, drink, and breathe work, but that's a whole other breed of human being. ;)
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Times are a Changin'
http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/08/12/norton.attell.comedy/index.html?hpt=en_c2
Funny how a friend was discussing something very similar to this just last night. The link above mentions Dave Attell who sort of chronicled the night life after hours scene several years back. According to the article, kids these days are "more content just to be on Facebook" and taking pictures to "post to their buddies." I can see this.
Last night, some friends and I were discussing a local club, The Saint, and how wild it used to be when I was a kid. Fifteen years ago, it was common for five guys to be hurtled in the one and only bathroom stall inside the men's restroom. I joked that we all knew what they were doing, but my friend put it best when he wittingly said the days of "doing a line of coke off a drag queen's tit" were gone.
The club, which recently relocated about two blocks down from where it used to be, has moved away from all the action. The San Antonio "strip," as it is known to many has far been the hang out of every homo from here to eternity in this city. I didn't really care about the move, seeing as to how I hadn't really hung out at The Saint in years, but I never expected to see it's demise. Not that the club is officially dead or anything like that, but rumor has it that the club is not as thriving as it once was in it's previous home.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that kids today are more conservative than they were 15 years ago. Attell is right when he says they would rather be on FB. Look around you, in any restaurant, at any social funtion, and you'll see kids on their phones checking their latest updates and uploading their latest photos rather than interacting with one another in many cases.
Really the only reason kids have changed is because technology has progressed. I went from having an Ericsson T18z back then, to an iPhone 4. It's like we define ourselves today by our technological toys.
Well if there's one thing that hasn't changed from 15 years ago, it's knowing how to have a good time. And I sure as hell haven't forgotten how to do that. So follow me if you wanna have fun. Technology or not, I'm still TheGossipGuy, and I'm still one crazy kid at heart!
Funny how a friend was discussing something very similar to this just last night. The link above mentions Dave Attell who sort of chronicled the night life after hours scene several years back. According to the article, kids these days are "more content just to be on Facebook" and taking pictures to "post to their buddies." I can see this.
Last night, some friends and I were discussing a local club, The Saint, and how wild it used to be when I was a kid. Fifteen years ago, it was common for five guys to be hurtled in the one and only bathroom stall inside the men's restroom. I joked that we all knew what they were doing, but my friend put it best when he wittingly said the days of "doing a line of coke off a drag queen's tit" were gone.
The club, which recently relocated about two blocks down from where it used to be, has moved away from all the action. The San Antonio "strip," as it is known to many has far been the hang out of every homo from here to eternity in this city. I didn't really care about the move, seeing as to how I hadn't really hung out at The Saint in years, but I never expected to see it's demise. Not that the club is officially dead or anything like that, but rumor has it that the club is not as thriving as it once was in it's previous home.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that kids today are more conservative than they were 15 years ago. Attell is right when he says they would rather be on FB. Look around you, in any restaurant, at any social funtion, and you'll see kids on their phones checking their latest updates and uploading their latest photos rather than interacting with one another in many cases.
Really the only reason kids have changed is because technology has progressed. I went from having an Ericsson T18z back then, to an iPhone 4. It's like we define ourselves today by our technological toys.
Well if there's one thing that hasn't changed from 15 years ago, it's knowing how to have a good time. And I sure as hell haven't forgotten how to do that. So follow me if you wanna have fun. Technology or not, I'm still TheGossipGuy, and I'm still one crazy kid at heart!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
80s parents were the bomb!
After reevaluating the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise this past week, I learned something I had never really thought about before. Every kids' parents in those movies had problems. So I began to ask myself: "Could the storyline have been wrong?"
Here's my reasoning: We all know from the original that Fred Krueger was a child killer set free on a technicality. According to Marge Thompson (Nancy's mom in the original), the parents got together, hunted him down, and burned him alive. Now Freddy returns in the nightmares of their kids and kills them in their sleep.
If you've taken a close look at each installment (not counting A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, as it lacked the same substance as the others), most of the parents seemed to be alcoholics or just plain troubled in some way. Of course Marge Thompson was just the best! She was always drunk, almost adding an element of comedy to the film. In almost every scene, she has a bottle of vodka with her. In Dream Warriors, Kristen Parker's mom was a neurotic chain smoker, while in Dream Master, we revert back to alcoholism with Mr. Johnson (Rick and Alice's dad).
So what if the parents were wrong? What if Fred Krueger wasn't some monster? Instead think about this: What if after a long night of partying, the Elm Street parents were just so wasted they accidentally murdered Freddy? It's possible. We've all heard strange stories of what people can do in a drunken state of mind. It would still make sense as far as the story goes: Wild party gone bad. Drunk group kills guy. Dead guy takes revenge by killing their kids. I'd buy that.
It's just something to think about. I mean, we all know the real synopsis of the film, but this could have been a real possibility is all I'm saying.
I also have to bring up a funny fact from the original film. While watching it last night, I noticed what I would have considered a serious time lapse. Let me take you back to A Nightmare On Elm Street. Nancy calls her boyfriend Glen at 11:42pm and warns him not to fall asleep. Glen dies at exactly midnight (we know this because the tv station he is watching announces the time right before it signs off). By 12:10am, the police and EMS are all on the scene already cleaning up the mess. At that moment, Nancy calls her father and tells here she's going to grab Krueger for him, but he needs to show up at her door across the street in 20 minutes. As she says: "That would be exactly half past 12." After her phone conversation, she manages to booby trap the entire house and have a heart to heart talk with her mother (not realizing it would be the last time she spoke to her). Finally Nancy sets the alarm on her watch for 12:30am giving her ten minutes to fall asleep and grab the maniac. Did anyone else ever notice that she was able to do all of that in only TEN MINUTES? Oh the possibilities.
Now I invite all of you to go back and watch these movies, and see if you can pick up on anything others may have missed. You can actually make it a movie night with friends and turn it into a game. LOL!
Here's my reasoning: We all know from the original that Fred Krueger was a child killer set free on a technicality. According to Marge Thompson (Nancy's mom in the original), the parents got together, hunted him down, and burned him alive. Now Freddy returns in the nightmares of their kids and kills them in their sleep.
If you've taken a close look at each installment (not counting A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, as it lacked the same substance as the others), most of the parents seemed to be alcoholics or just plain troubled in some way. Of course Marge Thompson was just the best! She was always drunk, almost adding an element of comedy to the film. In almost every scene, she has a bottle of vodka with her. In Dream Warriors, Kristen Parker's mom was a neurotic chain smoker, while in Dream Master, we revert back to alcoholism with Mr. Johnson (Rick and Alice's dad).
So what if the parents were wrong? What if Fred Krueger wasn't some monster? Instead think about this: What if after a long night of partying, the Elm Street parents were just so wasted they accidentally murdered Freddy? It's possible. We've all heard strange stories of what people can do in a drunken state of mind. It would still make sense as far as the story goes: Wild party gone bad. Drunk group kills guy. Dead guy takes revenge by killing their kids. I'd buy that.
It's just something to think about. I mean, we all know the real synopsis of the film, but this could have been a real possibility is all I'm saying.
I also have to bring up a funny fact from the original film. While watching it last night, I noticed what I would have considered a serious time lapse. Let me take you back to A Nightmare On Elm Street. Nancy calls her boyfriend Glen at 11:42pm and warns him not to fall asleep. Glen dies at exactly midnight (we know this because the tv station he is watching announces the time right before it signs off). By 12:10am, the police and EMS are all on the scene already cleaning up the mess. At that moment, Nancy calls her father and tells here she's going to grab Krueger for him, but he needs to show up at her door across the street in 20 minutes. As she says: "That would be exactly half past 12." After her phone conversation, she manages to booby trap the entire house and have a heart to heart talk with her mother (not realizing it would be the last time she spoke to her). Finally Nancy sets the alarm on her watch for 12:30am giving her ten minutes to fall asleep and grab the maniac. Did anyone else ever notice that she was able to do all of that in only TEN MINUTES? Oh the possibilities.
Now I invite all of you to go back and watch these movies, and see if you can pick up on anything others may have missed. You can actually make it a movie night with friends and turn it into a game. LOL!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Another letter to the editor:
In response to this column, here is a friend's response (You'll have to excuse the fact that he has no blogger account).
Sean writes:
A recent article, "The Defining Disappointment in Gay Men," scared the bejesus out of me! The writer creates a treacherous world of wicked little gay ogres hungry to gnaw the bones of the young and virginal. In this world, gay men are ravenous wolves that worship the dollar, painkillers, and Prada. They're frankensteined monsters—stitched together from all the worst male and gay stereotypes. I picture shadowy beasts lurking behind every bathroom stall and Pina Colada machine. Hang on to your umbrellas, boys.
But the writer offers us a ray of hope to pierce this dark little world: a gay knight in silver armor. He's a strong, trustworthy "family man" who has evolved beyond egotism. A sharp observer will catch him volunteering at soup kitchens, with a dry wit and a wicked backhanded remark ready for the unrighteous. Unfortunately, even the writer admits that he's a rare little creature, not unlike the last unicorn.
As fantastic as this all sounds, I will never meet either the troll-monster or my gay in shining armor. The real world just doesn't work that way. The extreme people you describe exist mostly in your imagination, writer. I gather from your writing that you spend entirely too much time in bars, where hyper-vigilant boyfriends watch your wondering eye and sift through the texts in your "iPhone" (no less a label-drop than that of the Prada worshippers you chastise, hypocrite). There is a whole world of real, multidimensional gay men out there, even if they don't suit your admittedly high standards. It's just sad that you feel the need to lash out at the rest of us and reduce us to stereotypes.
Live with your fictions—I prefer real people with realistic expectations. Thank God when I was 18 years old, I never had to listen to your little scary bedtime stories masquerading as advice—complete with Big Bad Wolves (funny you chose this obvious grandma drag reference). Otherwise, I might have been exposed to your sad worldview; and I would never have had all the great fun life has offered up.
Also, next time you feel the need to badmouth gay men, please don't massacre the English language while you're at it. What has she ever done to you?
Sean writes:
A recent article, "The Defining Disappointment in Gay Men," scared the bejesus out of me! The writer creates a treacherous world of wicked little gay ogres hungry to gnaw the bones of the young and virginal. In this world, gay men are ravenous wolves that worship the dollar, painkillers, and Prada. They're frankensteined monsters—stitched together from all the worst male and gay stereotypes. I picture shadowy beasts lurking behind every bathroom stall and Pina Colada machine. Hang on to your umbrellas, boys.
But the writer offers us a ray of hope to pierce this dark little world: a gay knight in silver armor. He's a strong, trustworthy "family man" who has evolved beyond egotism. A sharp observer will catch him volunteering at soup kitchens, with a dry wit and a wicked backhanded remark ready for the unrighteous. Unfortunately, even the writer admits that he's a rare little creature, not unlike the last unicorn.
As fantastic as this all sounds, I will never meet either the troll-monster or my gay in shining armor. The real world just doesn't work that way. The extreme people you describe exist mostly in your imagination, writer. I gather from your writing that you spend entirely too much time in bars, where hyper-vigilant boyfriends watch your wondering eye and sift through the texts in your "iPhone" (no less a label-drop than that of the Prada worshippers you chastise, hypocrite). There is a whole world of real, multidimensional gay men out there, even if they don't suit your admittedly high standards. It's just sad that you feel the need to lash out at the rest of us and reduce us to stereotypes.
Live with your fictions—I prefer real people with realistic expectations. Thank God when I was 18 years old, I never had to listen to your little scary bedtime stories masquerading as advice—complete with Big Bad Wolves (funny you chose this obvious grandma drag reference). Otherwise, I might have been exposed to your sad worldview; and I would never have had all the great fun life has offered up.
Also, next time you feel the need to badmouth gay men, please don't massacre the English language while you're at it. What has she ever done to you?
A letter to the editor:
I recently came across a rather disturbing article in a local magazine known as "Ignite." The following is my response to this publication's editor. I will first post the link to the article so that you may read the atrocity for yourself.
http://www.igniteisonline.com/people/jun-2011/defining-disappointment-men
Here is my response:
In response to The Defining Disappointment in Men, published in Ignite Magazine June 2011.
I recently read a column published in your June issue which really disturbed me. Not only was it an exaggerated generalization on gay men, but the writing style was quite poor. You do have copy editors that look at this, right? I find it quite interesting that no one bothered to check any references or facts that might have backed up this author's arguement.
The column titled, The Defining Disappointment In Men, had no mert whatsoever. The author goes on and on about why men cheat and shouldn’t be trusted, and then going even further as to bash gay men. First of all, as a gay man, I feel offended that anyone would even try and classify me as a liar without knowing me. Secondly, as a journalist, the manner in which it was written was just altogether disappointing.
The author of this article, Mr. Ledezma, pointed out that men are jealous for two reasons: either they’ve been cheated on, or they are cheating themselves. But James Park, author of the book New Ways of Loving: How Authenticity Transforms Relationships, claims that jealousy stems from three factors: competition, comparison, and the fear of being replaced. It stems from fear and one’s own self- insecurities. If someone is afraid of being traded in for a newer model, of course they’re going to be jealous. Your columnist uses no facts to back his claims.
Mr. Ledezma next misquotes Winston Churchill in an attempt to explain how men lie, then go about business as usual. Bless his heart, sweetie. The quote he used was: “Men stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.” I believe what Winston Churchill actually said was that “once in a while you will stumble upon the truth, but most of us manage to pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had happened.” He was neither directing his words toward man nor woman, but rather society in general.
Your columnist is also quick to advise his readers that they should end their relationship “if you find another man attractive, one that is not your boyfriend or husband.” Excuse me? Really? He calls it “honesty” and “being a man.” I’m sorry if I have to take a moment to laugh, but honesty is being able to tell your partner that you think someone is physically attractive. Just because you find someone attractive doesn’t mean you’re ready to jump ship. It’s natural for men and women to find others, whether of the same sex or not, attractive.
He goes on to discuss dating advice he offered an 18-year-old friend, in which he compares men to “ravenous, malicious wolves…ready to attack…fresh meat.” Ouch! He also said that men will cheat if they know they won’t be caught. The experts seem to say other things.
In February 2009, marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman , told Oprah Winfrey it is estimated one in 2.7 men will cheat. In his study, he found that ninety-two percent of men said sex was not the primary reason. In fact, he said most of the men claimed emotional disconnection in their relationship, a sense of being unappreciated, or just a lack of thoughtful gestures. “Men are very emotional beings. They just don’t look like that. Or they don’t seem like that. Or they don’t tell you that.”
In a May 2007 article for msnbc.com, Do Men Cheat for the Thrill or the Sex, relationship expert Dr. Gail Saltz gives advice on saving a relationship after infidelity. Saltz gives advice to both sides: the cheater and the betrayed. Her advice suggests that a relationship can be saved as long as both parties are willing to deal with it together.
Ledezma also said that his words are “not stemming from self-hate or bitterness,” yet at the beginning of his column he goes on to discuss why his prior relationship ended and then continues to make assumptions about most men. Of course young men are going to be discouraged from finding love or even attempting to find a date when you publish such garbage without even getting another point of view or backing up these claims with facts. It’s this kind of trash talk that gives men, especially gay men, a bad reputation.
And as far as him referring to his advice as a “survival skill,” again, I hope he’s joking. As if I could die had I not known any of this. Actually, I would consider hunting for food, or even learning to adapt a surviving skill. This author’s advice is simply his way of venting frustrations on anyone willing to read about it.
And just for the record, I have never taken painkillers, unless actually prescribed, and only taken as instructed. And the only Prada I’ve ever owned is The Devil Wears Prada. I wouldn’t call the fact that I’m educated, having some kind of, oh what did he call it? That’s right, a “righteous indignation” over others. The fact that I'm educated makes me no better than anyone else. Someone with a sense of street smarts can be just as well off as someone with book smarts.
Here’s one thing I’ll say though. If I can give his 18-year-old friend the same advice I give all my friends of every age who are trying to find romance, it’s this: don’t be afraid to date. It’s the only way you will get to know people. But don’t go out to a club or bar with the mind-set of finding that special someone either. I have found that a connection with someone is usually unexpected. Just go out and be yourself.
Please feel free to post your own comments.
http://www.igniteisonline.com/people/jun-2011/defining-disappointment-men
Here is my response:
In response to The Defining Disappointment in Men, published in Ignite Magazine June 2011.
I recently read a column published in your June issue which really disturbed me. Not only was it an exaggerated generalization on gay men, but the writing style was quite poor. You do have copy editors that look at this, right? I find it quite interesting that no one bothered to check any references or facts that might have backed up this author's arguement.
The column titled, The Defining Disappointment In Men, had no mert whatsoever. The author goes on and on about why men cheat and shouldn’t be trusted, and then going even further as to bash gay men. First of all, as a gay man, I feel offended that anyone would even try and classify me as a liar without knowing me. Secondly, as a journalist, the manner in which it was written was just altogether disappointing.
The author of this article, Mr. Ledezma, pointed out that men are jealous for two reasons: either they’ve been cheated on, or they are cheating themselves. But James Park, author of the book New Ways of Loving: How Authenticity Transforms Relationships, claims that jealousy stems from three factors: competition, comparison, and the fear of being replaced. It stems from fear and one’s own self- insecurities. If someone is afraid of being traded in for a newer model, of course they’re going to be jealous. Your columnist uses no facts to back his claims.
Mr. Ledezma next misquotes Winston Churchill in an attempt to explain how men lie, then go about business as usual. Bless his heart, sweetie. The quote he used was: “Men stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.” I believe what Winston Churchill actually said was that “once in a while you will stumble upon the truth, but most of us manage to pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had happened.” He was neither directing his words toward man nor woman, but rather society in general.
Your columnist is also quick to advise his readers that they should end their relationship “if you find another man attractive, one that is not your boyfriend or husband.” Excuse me? Really? He calls it “honesty” and “being a man.” I’m sorry if I have to take a moment to laugh, but honesty is being able to tell your partner that you think someone is physically attractive. Just because you find someone attractive doesn’t mean you’re ready to jump ship. It’s natural for men and women to find others, whether of the same sex or not, attractive.
He goes on to discuss dating advice he offered an 18-year-old friend, in which he compares men to “ravenous, malicious wolves…ready to attack…fresh meat.” Ouch! He also said that men will cheat if they know they won’t be caught. The experts seem to say other things.
In February 2009, marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman , told Oprah Winfrey it is estimated one in 2.7 men will cheat. In his study, he found that ninety-two percent of men said sex was not the primary reason. In fact, he said most of the men claimed emotional disconnection in their relationship, a sense of being unappreciated, or just a lack of thoughtful gestures. “Men are very emotional beings. They just don’t look like that. Or they don’t seem like that. Or they don’t tell you that.”
In a May 2007 article for msnbc.com, Do Men Cheat for the Thrill or the Sex, relationship expert Dr. Gail Saltz gives advice on saving a relationship after infidelity. Saltz gives advice to both sides: the cheater and the betrayed. Her advice suggests that a relationship can be saved as long as both parties are willing to deal with it together.
Ledezma also said that his words are “not stemming from self-hate or bitterness,” yet at the beginning of his column he goes on to discuss why his prior relationship ended and then continues to make assumptions about most men. Of course young men are going to be discouraged from finding love or even attempting to find a date when you publish such garbage without even getting another point of view or backing up these claims with facts. It’s this kind of trash talk that gives men, especially gay men, a bad reputation.
And as far as him referring to his advice as a “survival skill,” again, I hope he’s joking. As if I could die had I not known any of this. Actually, I would consider hunting for food, or even learning to adapt a surviving skill. This author’s advice is simply his way of venting frustrations on anyone willing to read about it.
And just for the record, I have never taken painkillers, unless actually prescribed, and only taken as instructed. And the only Prada I’ve ever owned is The Devil Wears Prada. I wouldn’t call the fact that I’m educated, having some kind of, oh what did he call it? That’s right, a “righteous indignation” over others. The fact that I'm educated makes me no better than anyone else. Someone with a sense of street smarts can be just as well off as someone with book smarts.
Here’s one thing I’ll say though. If I can give his 18-year-old friend the same advice I give all my friends of every age who are trying to find romance, it’s this: don’t be afraid to date. It’s the only way you will get to know people. But don’t go out to a club or bar with the mind-set of finding that special someone either. I have found that a connection with someone is usually unexpected. Just go out and be yourself.
Please feel free to post your own comments.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Quick to judge
So I decide to have a nightcap. Nothing out of the ordinary. Well, at least not since I hadn't done it in a while. Lately, I've found that a couple of drinks before bed make me feel relaxed. So back to my nightcap.
I'm having my JB & Coke and Alex asks why I'm drinking. I simply say to him: "I'm not drinking. I'm just unwinding before bed." I don't get it? What's the bid deal? I'm at home. It's safer than going out for a drink or two. I'm just relaxing. Why do I suddenly feel like I'm being judged?
Its not like I'm an alcoholic. At least, I don't think I am. When I think alcoholic, I think someone who is able to function on alcohol at any given time. That's totally not me. I'm toasted after about three drinks, so no way am I going to drink and then try and drive or run an errand.
I think it's only fair to say that I'm being responsible by having my drinks at home before bed, rather than during the middle of the afternoon, don't you think? So I say to all you who like to have your nightcap and feel good: It's ok. As long as you're not getting drunk. That might be a little different. Unwinding after a day of work, I think, is perfectly normal. And even though I've done it every night this week, I'd like to say it's not something I normally do.
I'm having my JB & Coke and Alex asks why I'm drinking. I simply say to him: "I'm not drinking. I'm just unwinding before bed." I don't get it? What's the bid deal? I'm at home. It's safer than going out for a drink or two. I'm just relaxing. Why do I suddenly feel like I'm being judged?
Its not like I'm an alcoholic. At least, I don't think I am. When I think alcoholic, I think someone who is able to function on alcohol at any given time. That's totally not me. I'm toasted after about three drinks, so no way am I going to drink and then try and drive or run an errand.
I think it's only fair to say that I'm being responsible by having my drinks at home before bed, rather than during the middle of the afternoon, don't you think? So I say to all you who like to have your nightcap and feel good: It's ok. As long as you're not getting drunk. That might be a little different. Unwinding after a day of work, I think, is perfectly normal. And even though I've done it every night this week, I'd like to say it's not something I normally do.
Monday, May 30, 2011
TRUST: When do you truly earn it?
It's so easy to lose trust in a friend. Having them earn it again can prove to be very difficult. I had a friend whom I trusted. I wouldn't quite say wholeheartedly, granted this friend wasn't someone I grew up with, nor was it someone I spent countless hours talking with, but nonetheless a friend, or so I thought. This person was someone who had a number of friends in common with me. In fact, I met this person through other friends.
I guess to cut to the chase, this person I considered a friend, blatantly let me down in the worst way. Then again, this person I thought was a friend was only a kid, and still is. Maybe it was my fault for thinking someone that young could make mature decisions, but I usually compare people to myself at that age, and I understood the difference between right and wrong. In fact, I was probably more of an adult at that age than I am now. So I tried to put aside this solecism, but the more time that passed, the more I thought about it, and the more it impaired my perspective of this person. We still have common friends, so just the thought of running into this person in public makes me want to punch them in the throat, but of course I wouldn't because I'm the bigger person, and any amount of thought I had put into this has been a waste of energy on my part.
I can't say I hate this person, whom I considered a friend, but I definitely would not accept this person back into my life. That ship has sailed. And although this person apologized (and it was a half-assed apology by the way....no feeling or remorse behind it, which really helped me see the worthlessness in the friendship we had) for their actions, or as I prefer to call it, "their mistake," I still find it very difficult to believe that someone could act so conniving, and then still want to be friends with me, and act as if they had done nothing wrong.
I think it pretty obvious that this person was not my friend long enough to understand that I don't work that way. This is the reason I find it so hard to trust people sometimes. It just takes one bad egg, I guess, to ruin it for the others. Let's just say this friend is not on my Facebook. As my friends very well know, I don't delete people from Facebook, no matter how much I disagree with something said, or someone's beliefs. I truly believe that everyone has a right to their opinion. This is why we have debates, people! But no matter how much I disagree with you, I would never delete you. It's simply my opinion that if I've friended you, I shouldn't unfriend (unless you're personally attacking me or stalking me). So I happened to look on my page today and noticed this "ex-friend" had deleted me. Well more power to this person for understanding that our friendship was not what is used to be, because whether or not I still liked this person, I wasn't going to delete them from my page, so I guess I do have to commend their actions for taking me off their page.
So what is it you should take away with you after reading this blog? If you're a friend of mine, please don't screw me over. The next blog may just be about you. I don't fight dirty....or at least too dirty. My weapons of choice are sarcasm and wit. My word is all I need because even that can sometimes hit below the belt.
I guess to cut to the chase, this person I considered a friend, blatantly let me down in the worst way. Then again, this person I thought was a friend was only a kid, and still is. Maybe it was my fault for thinking someone that young could make mature decisions, but I usually compare people to myself at that age, and I understood the difference between right and wrong. In fact, I was probably more of an adult at that age than I am now. So I tried to put aside this solecism, but the more time that passed, the more I thought about it, and the more it impaired my perspective of this person. We still have common friends, so just the thought of running into this person in public makes me want to punch them in the throat, but of course I wouldn't because I'm the bigger person, and any amount of thought I had put into this has been a waste of energy on my part.
I can't say I hate this person, whom I considered a friend, but I definitely would not accept this person back into my life. That ship has sailed. And although this person apologized (and it was a half-assed apology by the way....no feeling or remorse behind it, which really helped me see the worthlessness in the friendship we had) for their actions, or as I prefer to call it, "their mistake," I still find it very difficult to believe that someone could act so conniving, and then still want to be friends with me, and act as if they had done nothing wrong.
I think it pretty obvious that this person was not my friend long enough to understand that I don't work that way. This is the reason I find it so hard to trust people sometimes. It just takes one bad egg, I guess, to ruin it for the others. Let's just say this friend is not on my Facebook. As my friends very well know, I don't delete people from Facebook, no matter how much I disagree with something said, or someone's beliefs. I truly believe that everyone has a right to their opinion. This is why we have debates, people! But no matter how much I disagree with you, I would never delete you. It's simply my opinion that if I've friended you, I shouldn't unfriend (unless you're personally attacking me or stalking me). So I happened to look on my page today and noticed this "ex-friend" had deleted me. Well more power to this person for understanding that our friendship was not what is used to be, because whether or not I still liked this person, I wasn't going to delete them from my page, so I guess I do have to commend their actions for taking me off their page.
So what is it you should take away with you after reading this blog? If you're a friend of mine, please don't screw me over. The next blog may just be about you. I don't fight dirty....or at least too dirty. My weapons of choice are sarcasm and wit. My word is all I need because even that can sometimes hit below the belt.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
In response to views on the homosexual lifestyle
A friend of mine posted this update on Facebook, and surprisingly I'm just now seeing it. It was one of the most interesting things I had read on the social network in a while. Well, I mean as far as making my gears turn. It really made me reflect on my beliefs as a confused teen. My friend's update is as follows:
"Gay people want equal rights but with events like decadence, pride, splash that promote depraved acts its no wonder why its a battle. It's ammo and a slap 2 the institute of marriage. This lifestyle is looked at as a joke."
In his defense (before anyone begins to cast judgement), he clearly comments immediately on his own post stating that those words are not his, but rather something he had seen on somebody's blog. The post was left in October of 2010.
Apparently there's a new feature I'm just becoming aware of called "Memorable updates" on Facebook. It shows you updates your friends have made in the past. That is exactly where I came across my friend's post. The following was my response to that particular post:
"Wow, how did I miss this post!? I kind of agree with you, Simon. But it's hard to understand it from another point of view. When I was younger, I was embarrassed by the thought of ever attending anything such as Splash, or Southern Decadence, or even the Pride Parade. I thought it was all so stereotypical of the lifestyle. I too believed in the sanctity of marriage as a youngster. Today, my point-of-view has gone total 180. It seems that many don't believe in marriage anymore. Look at all the celebs and even people you might know who can't even make it past 6 months to a year. It's sad. But now I see marriage as being overrated. I don't think it holds the same values it did 50 years ago. But to each his own. I'm happy with where I am, and I don't need a piece of paper to define my relationship. As for my feelings on Pride, Decadence and Splash...I'm much more liberated now, I think. I don't feel that I have to hide who I am. At least not as much as I did back in the 90s or early millennium. I attended decadence last year for the first time with my partner and some friends, and we had a great time. We met people from all over, and just had a great time being ourselves. Then again, NOLA is a totally different atmosphere. Splash is one event I still hope to attend one day. Haven't quite made it there yet. But Pride...Pride is something I never thought as a young man I'd ever enjoy. I'm proud of the person I've grown into, and even though there are a lot of things we may not agree with that are found within the gay culture, it's nice to know that the choice is up to every individual. That's what makes us all so different. Whether it's hot pink shorts at a parade, or a position in politics, homos come in all forms. I never thought 15 years ago that I would see things so differently. Wow, I can't believe how long this post is. LOL!!!"
Not everyone will agree with me, but then again, not everyone will agree with my friend either. I personally believe that everyone's own beliefs come from how they have been raised or by the people they have decided to be surrounded and influenced by. One thing I know for sure is that there is no right or wrong answer. We all have our own opinions and we're all entitled to them, so we should respect them. Not everyone will ever agree with everyone. :)
"Gay people want equal rights but with events like decadence, pride, splash that promote depraved acts its no wonder why its a battle. It's ammo and a slap 2 the institute of marriage. This lifestyle is looked at as a joke."
In his defense (before anyone begins to cast judgement), he clearly comments immediately on his own post stating that those words are not his, but rather something he had seen on somebody's blog. The post was left in October of 2010.
Apparently there's a new feature I'm just becoming aware of called "Memorable updates" on Facebook. It shows you updates your friends have made in the past. That is exactly where I came across my friend's post. The following was my response to that particular post:
"Wow, how did I miss this post!? I kind of agree with you, Simon. But it's hard to understand it from another point of view. When I was younger, I was embarrassed by the thought of ever attending anything such as Splash, or Southern Decadence, or even the Pride Parade. I thought it was all so stereotypical of the lifestyle. I too believed in the sanctity of marriage as a youngster. Today, my point-of-view has gone total 180. It seems that many don't believe in marriage anymore. Look at all the celebs and even people you might know who can't even make it past 6 months to a year. It's sad. But now I see marriage as being overrated. I don't think it holds the same values it did 50 years ago. But to each his own. I'm happy with where I am, and I don't need a piece of paper to define my relationship. As for my feelings on Pride, Decadence and Splash...I'm much more liberated now, I think. I don't feel that I have to hide who I am. At least not as much as I did back in the 90s or early millennium. I attended decadence last year for the first time with my partner and some friends, and we had a great time. We met people from all over, and just had a great time being ourselves. Then again, NOLA is a totally different atmosphere. Splash is one event I still hope to attend one day. Haven't quite made it there yet. But Pride...Pride is something I never thought as a young man I'd ever enjoy. I'm proud of the person I've grown into, and even though there are a lot of things we may not agree with that are found within the gay culture, it's nice to know that the choice is up to every individual. That's what makes us all so different. Whether it's hot pink shorts at a parade, or a position in politics, homos come in all forms. I never thought 15 years ago that I would see things so differently. Wow, I can't believe how long this post is. LOL!!!"
Not everyone will agree with me, but then again, not everyone will agree with my friend either. I personally believe that everyone's own beliefs come from how they have been raised or by the people they have decided to be surrounded and influenced by. One thing I know for sure is that there is no right or wrong answer. We all have our own opinions and we're all entitled to them, so we should respect them. Not everyone will ever agree with everyone. :)
Monday, February 14, 2011
Gaga at the Grammys
Perhaps people are making just too much a fuss over Lady Gaga these days. It seems everyone wants to take her fashion ability or disability, however one chooses to see it, and compare it to artists of the past...namely Madonna. I think it's safe to say that some of the looks Lady Gaga (Stefani Germanotta) has given her public can be seen as rehashed, but truth be known, Gaga has a plan. She's become quite the little expert on what it takes to stay on top.
Like her or hate her, she's got your attention. And not in a bad way like those Jersey Shore characters. During her special 60-Minutes interview with Anderson Cooper, she admits to toking it up while she writes her music and taking swigs at good bottle of whiskey. But come on, every artist has their way of being creative. But I'd rather not spend an entire blog devoted to Miss Meat Dress herself. Oh who am I kidding?
She even entered the awards show in a contraption which we were told was an egg, outdoing even herself at past awards shows. It's funny how the show is over, yet people will still be talking about this stunt. As crazy as I thought it was, I'm still talking about it! Although I didn't watch the entire show tonight, I knew that shortly after her performance, every social network would be blowing up with comments on her stage presence and that darned egg!
@NYDNgossip tweeted "I'm starting to understand Lady Gaga...First she wore ham, now she's an egg. Next year if she's toast, she'll be deciphered: breakfast.
@Kellyoxford tweeted "Madonna did it 30 years ago guys." That sounds like a little bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point.
@patricklangolis tweeted "and by Whitney Houston I mean Madonna." referring to Gaga's shout out to Whitney as she accepted an award.
Gimmick or not, Gaga is standing her ground letting all the world know that she's here for the long run. Although I'm not her biggest fan, I have to say that she got my attention with her first commercial single, Just Dance. Her latest efforts, I strongly believe to be over-the-top, but it's got a lot of people wondering what's next for Lady Gaga. Looks like we may have to stay tuned for that answer.
Like her or hate her, she's got your attention. And not in a bad way like those Jersey Shore characters. During her special 60-Minutes interview with Anderson Cooper, she admits to toking it up while she writes her music and taking swigs at good bottle of whiskey. But come on, every artist has their way of being creative. But I'd rather not spend an entire blog devoted to Miss Meat Dress herself. Oh who am I kidding?
She even entered the awards show in a contraption which we were told was an egg, outdoing even herself at past awards shows. It's funny how the show is over, yet people will still be talking about this stunt. As crazy as I thought it was, I'm still talking about it! Although I didn't watch the entire show tonight, I knew that shortly after her performance, every social network would be blowing up with comments on her stage presence and that darned egg!
@NYDNgossip tweeted "I'm starting to understand Lady Gaga...First she wore ham, now she's an egg. Next year if she's toast, she'll be deciphered: breakfast.
@Kellyoxford tweeted "Madonna did it 30 years ago guys." That sounds like a little bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point.
@patricklangolis tweeted "and by Whitney Houston I mean Madonna." referring to Gaga's shout out to Whitney as she accepted an award.
Gimmick or not, Gaga is standing her ground letting all the world know that she's here for the long run. Although I'm not her biggest fan, I have to say that she got my attention with her first commercial single, Just Dance. Her latest efforts, I strongly believe to be over-the-top, but it's got a lot of people wondering what's next for Lady Gaga. Looks like we may have to stay tuned for that answer.
Monday, January 31, 2011
the social network experience
I finally got around to watching The Social Network, and it made me realize that I did not even have a clue about Mark Zuckerberg until I saw this movie. I'm not claiming that what I saw in the film was completely accurate as I did not do the research, not did I make this film. But the film certainly made Zuckerberg out to be an arrogant, backstabbing, manipulative douchebag! And that's me being kind.
I remember the first time I signed up for Facebook, I was a senior at Southwest Texas State University (now Texas State University). Someone had sent me an email inviting me to the social network. In fact, if I remember correctly, it was my friend Liz. And of course she was the same person who originally got me started on MySpace way back in the day! But we're not even going there, so lets move on.
At the time, I was a MySpace junkie, although no one would ever admit to that anymore. At least no one my age. I got an invite for Facebook, but was hesitant to try it as I'm sometimes opposed to change. This was back when you had to have a college email in order to become a user. I created an account, but never really logged in again until about a year later when a new friend of mine, Marissa, insisted that I check it out. I distinctly remember telling her that I was sure I was already a member, but that I had never really bothered to check it out.
I decided to log in, and see what it was all about. I'll have to say, like most of you on there, I wasn't comfortable at first. It took a little getting used to, but after a while, I was able to make the transition from the dreaded MySpace to Facebook. Wow, did I transition! I became a Facebook addict. To this day, it's non-stop almost. Like I get a high from checking comments left on my posts and leaving comments for others. It's crazy at times, and ridiculous all at the same time. Who would have thought that making yourself so open to the public would give you such a rush?
Then you have all the protesters who claim they have no privacy on the social network. Darling, first of all, it's exactly that....a social network! Privacy is not really an option. I mean, yes, there are privacy settings in place that you can use, but Facebook, or any other social media outlet for that matter, is all about putting your private life in the public eye. If you have a problem with it, don't use it, plain and simple! It kind of irks me when parents claim that predators can see what their children are doing. Maybe they shouldn't give their children computers. Problem solved.
I think the funny thing I realized tonight after watching the movie, The Social Network, is that yes, they did portray Zuckerberg and his idea of Facebook (or not his idea, as the movie portrays) as a way to meet girls. I never saw Facebook as a dating network. I still don't. Since day one, I saw it as a means of networking. I don't know, call me naive, but that's how I saw it. It's really a great tool to meet people from all sorts of trades (not to meet trade...you pervs! lol). I have met so many people on Facebook, near and far. It's really interesting to see what people are like in different regions of the world.
I have to say though, going back to Zuckerberg, I just can't believe the character in the movie. So he claims it wasn't an accurate portrayal, yet he was allowed to see the screenplay before they started shooting. Why didn't he make any objections then? I don't think I could ever do to my best friends what he did to his. It's sad...just sad. Again, I don't know how accurate the story was, but to do all those horrible things, and for what? Because you're jealous of your best friend. I don't know that I could ever turn my back on a best friend, and I would hope they would feel the same about me. But watching this movie made me realize this guys is an asshole, plain and simple. I thought he even looked like one on Saturday Night Live, and I hadn't even seen the movie yet!
He might be the youngest billionaire in America, but he may also be the youngest asshole billionaire in the country.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Blame Sarah Palin?
It's sad that when tragedy strikes, society is quick to point fingers. Finding someone to blame is always the easiest way to find solace, or is it?
Seems many want to point to Sarah Palin after the senseless shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords this past Saturday. Come on people! I dislike Palin as much as the next guy, but it's obvious the shooter had issues. It has nothing to do with Palin, it has nothing to do with the Republican party, it has nothing to do with politics. I was reading an article by Mara Gay on Aol News, in which Gay stated that "Sarah Palin is fighting back against speculation in some quarters that her often-fiery partisan rhetoric may have contributed to a climate that encourages political violence."
Yeah, so sometimes Palin doesn't use the her best judgement when making statements, but society cannot place blame on her. Many of my friend can tell you, I'm very anti-Palin. I've always said, she's not a real politician, she's a cheerleader for politics. It's just sad to see this woman take the heat from so many sides.
In fact, in the article it states that Glenn Beck, of FOX News, reached out to Palin telling her that she has his support and to seek protection for her and her family. I don't think it's quite gotten to the point of lynch mobs showing up at her estate, but you never know these days.
Every news channel has been covering the Arizona shooting all weekend. It's been reported over and over again that 22-year-old triggerman, Jared Loughner, had problems. I just hope others can see that his mental instability has nothing to do with Palin, and that we should stop putting blame on political parties, and see this for what it really is: just another senseless tragedy in the annals of American politics.
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