Another letter to the editor:

In response to this column, here is a friend's response (You'll have to excuse the fact that he has no blogger account).

Sean writes:

A recent article, "The Defining Disappointment in Gay Men," scared the bejesus out of me! The writer creates a treacherous world of wicked little gay ogres hungry to gnaw the bones of the young and virginal. In this world, gay men are ravenous wolves that worship the dollar, painkillers, and Prada. They're frankensteined monsters—stitched together from all the worst male and gay stereotypes. I picture shadowy beasts lurking behind every bathroom stall and Pina Colada machine. Hang on to your umbrellas, boys.

But the writer offers us a ray of hope to pierce this dark little world: a gay knight in silver armor. He's a strong, trustworthy "family man" who has evolved beyond egotism. A sharp observer will catch him volunteering at soup kitchens, with a dry wit and a wicked backhanded remark ready for the unrighteous. Unfortunately, even the writer admits that he's a rare little creature, not unlike the last unicorn.

As fantastic as this all sounds, I will never meet either the troll-monster or my gay in shining armor. The real world just doesn't work that way. The extreme people you describe exist mostly in your imagination, writer. I gather from your writing that you spend entirely too much time in bars, where hyper-vigilant boyfriends watch your wondering eye and sift through the texts in your "iPhone" (no less a label-drop than that of the Prada worshippers you chastise, hypocrite). There is a whole world of real, multidimensional gay men out there, even if they don't suit your admittedly high standards. It's just sad that you feel the need to lash out at the rest of us and reduce us to stereotypes.

Live with your fictions—I prefer real people with realistic expectations. Thank God when I was 18 years old, I never had to listen to your little scary bedtime stories masquerading as advice—complete with Big Bad Wolves (funny you chose this obvious grandma drag reference). Otherwise, I might have been exposed to your sad worldview; and I would never have had all the great fun life has offered up.

Also, next time you feel the need to badmouth gay men, please don't massacre the English language while you're at it. What has she ever done to you?