I know a lot of people who like to talk the talk. I'm never bothered by it at all, and I prefer not to judge, even if I have seen them in action first hand. I remember a time way back when I had just gotten out of what I considered a devastating breakup. We were all young once, and we know how that goes. At the time, I thought "I'm so over this relationship thing!" Seriously? I was only 25. What did I know, right? Exactly.
For the next few months I lived the single life...wow, did I live the single life. There were times I couldn't keep up with my own schedule. The way I saw it, I was having fun, and what I did on my time, was my business....except when people saw me in public. Yikes! I hadn't really thought about this period of my life in a long time until a friend of mine said to me one night, "I've been a big time slut lately." He's about the same age I was back then. I looked at him, and I knew exactly what he meant.
I looked at my friend and nodded my head. I simply said to him, "You're not a slut. You're single and you're having fun. There's nothing wrong with that. You have no one to answer to, and what you do is your business. It's ok, but you don't have to tell people that." And with that, all I could think was "people will talk, and he may have a reputation, so he just needs to watch how he handles himself now."
I remember being younger and trying to be really coy about it. I knew people talked. People like to talk. Hello?! Reality TV! That's why we watch. It gives us water cooler gossip. But does being a slut really mean you're just bed hopping and taking score? Or are some actually looking to just hop into the next relationship. Maybe that's how some handle it. They're looking for the next LTR (long term relationship). Maybe it's not the way to go about it, but maybe it's easier for some.
I understood exactly what my friend was feeling at that point. He often talked about finding someone he could spend time with, go out with, and just all around have fun with. I don't think he was necessarily looking simply for sex. I think he was looking for the next boyfriend. But in retrospect, I think he looked at himself and thought he was being a slut. I knew better.
So while some may look at themselves as sluts, or even look at others as sluts, I don't think it's what they were intending. Somewhere within them always lies some kind of relationship issue. Then again, I'm no expert, on the matter. I'm a journalist, not a therapist.
We should never judge a person by what they've done or whom they've done. I think they want the same thing most of us want. LOVE. I do know one thing for sure. Getting out of a bad relationship, no matter how good you thought it was, really opens one's eyes to many possibilities you were missing out on. I went on to finish school, and later on grad school. I know it sounds cliché to say things happen for a reason, but maybe sometimes you have to believe that some things really do have their reasons.
